Make that: hair gone today

Whatever.  I knew this was coming for the last month.  This morning, my hair started shedding like crazy and I have to say - seeing my long-ish hair in clumps in my hand.  That's pretty fucking traumatizing.  I went into my ugly 60's throwback bathroom, took my sweetie's beard scissors, stared at my reflection for a good 10 minutes, and then cut all my fucking hair off.  I almost started crying and then I stopped.  Whatever, it's hair.  

After putting the trashcan full of my hair back inside the vanity, I put on a hat and then took my puppy out for a walk.  My little Boomer is a great distraction.  I've started cooing at her, "Who's my little anti-depressant?"

Now I know what I would look like if my parents had another son.  Haha.  I look weird. The weird thing is - I look sick.   

Spoke too soon

Pretty sure my hair is going to fall out tomorrow or Christmas Eve.  My scalp is super sensitive and has been hurting like a mofo.  I have never had my scalp hurt before.  I know the whole cancer and chemo thing is real, especially since I've had two treatments already.  Once I become bald, it's going to become real for everyone else.  That's when I'm going to "look sick."

It's beginning to look like a bald Christmas.  

Sleep to Dream

I slept for about 11 or 12 hours last night.  I was absolutely exhausted and the Pens were sucking.  I thought to myself, "I need to go to sleep."  I guess now and then, I have to put myself into a mini-coma to reboot.  My body is getting the crap beat out of it, and I have to reboot myself.