Monday, May 16, 2011

First Day

My first day of radiation didn't occur exactly the way I was thinking.  I went to the radiation oncology department at the hospital.  I got into my specially made hospital gown with strategic strips of velcro so I don't have to show more of my boobs than needed.  (I appreciate the volunteers who made these gowns, but no matter how you dress it up, radiation isn't pretty.)

The techs ended up doing X-rays of either both boobs or just the cancer boob.  Oh man, they positioned my arms above my head in this bag-slash-pillow and then they said, "You have to stay still for as long as possible."  Oh man, after awhile, my arms and then my hands went numb.  The techs reassured me that once the radiation ball gets rolling, it won't be as bad as it was today.  Good!

This has nothing to do with drinking.  I just love gifs.

All in all, treatment has begun and that's all that matters.  Before I know, my life phase two will begin.  I have to keep in mind that my life is never going to get back to normal or the way it was before.  It's going to become a new normal, and I have to accept that things, including myself, are just not the same anymore.  Accept and adapt.  Before my diagnosis, I was obsessed with working overtime and getting new things and furniture for my home.  Now and then, I'd get drunk with either my boyfriend or friends somewhere. 

I'm happy to say my desire to drink is pretty much gone.  In the last six months, I've drank on two occasions and neither incidents got me remotely drunk.  Unfortunately, a life without alcohol eliminates about 70 percent of my acquaintances and social circle before my diagnosis.  I saw a friend's picture on Facebook which was a group shot of my former drinking buddies.  It didn't bother me whatsoever that nobody told me about this get together 'cuz I don't drink.  I'm not going to be the party pooper and hang around a bunch of intoxicated people while myself sober.  What fun is that - for them or me?  I'm many things and a killjoy isn't one of them, at least I don't want to be one!

I know that along with my diet and work, I'm going to have to accept and adapt to a different social life than the one I had before.  I want to join this Pink Steel dragonboat team if it doesn't interfere with my work schedule.  I want to do more volunteer work and get into photography again.  A new life than the one I had before awaits me, and I'm optimistic that it's going to be great.

No comments:

Post a Comment