Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Fight Passive Aggressive Fire with Passive Aggressive Fire

Dear Stupid Passive Aggressive Bitch,

Thank you for defriending and blocking me on Facebook.  Apparently I did or said something over the weekend that pissed you off, and instead of having it out with me like an adult, you just did this.  What you did today reminded me why I got rid of my Facebook in the first place.  It's more drama than what it's worth.  I deleted my profile again and more than likely, this time it's for real.  The other thing you did today was remind me of something really important I need to do: cut all bitches from my life.  

I am done with you and your petty bullshit.  This is an extremely stressful and horrifying time in my life, but instead of being a big girl and coming to me like a big girl with any beef you have with me, you pull this stupid fucking stunt.  Are you afraid of me?  You should be because I would love love love to tell you over the phone what a heinous bitch I think you are.  Contrary to what you believe and likely heard, you are not a special little snowflake.  The world doesn't revolve around you, and yes yes yes your shit DOES stink.  I'm never going to kiss your ass and have you believe I think your life is so awesome and wonderful.  It may be to you, but since you've never even tried to feign interest in mine, you've never encouraged me to truly care about yours.  You are a self-centered, self-absorbed, and selfish troll. 

Consider this my resignation from your life.  I am not playing nice anymore or pretending to even slightly care, and I encourage you to do the same.  Why should I play nice anymore when all you've done is dump on me and my life?  You don't like me.  I don't like you.   Let's both quit pretending and go our separate ways.  If you want to come at me, I encourage you to come find me in the spring when I'm done with chemo and radiation, and we can duke it out when I'm at full strength.  Come at me now, and I might be more specific with my vitriol and name names.    

Fuck off and die, you heinous troll.  


  1. "And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!" -- (That's what Samuel L. Jackson's character in Pulp Fiction says before he executes someone) Very righteous and I hope you feel better.

    Also, has she ever been in your home? If so, I read about a custom where you throw firecrackers out of your front door on New Year's to drive out evil spirits. It might be cathartic, too.

  2. Nope, she has never been in my home. That custom does sound pretty cool!

  3. Oh shit! Smack. Down.

  4. nice! Fear the wrath of Lara.

  5. I don't know... I'd throw firecrackers into her front door... and windows... and chimney, if she has one.