Monday, October 18, 2010

Purpose

I have a variety of reasons why I'm doing this blog thing-a-mah-jig.  One of the reasons: I wanted a way to control the information about Barney to my friends and family.  I deleted my Facebook after I was diagnosed because I didn't want to be accessible and keep getting Facebook messages, like, "Sue just wrote on your wall - 'Lara, how is your cancer?'"  I wanted to control the flow of info, and this was the way that came to mind.

Another reason why I'm blogging: I needed a way to express all the crazy ass thoughts and feelings I've had and am currently having.  The inner monologue of, "HOLY SHIT I HAVE CANCER!" is no longer running through my head from the moment I wake up to when I go to sleep.  I have numerous moments during the day where the inner monologue is more like: "Yeah... I got cancer.  This sucks."  I'm thinking morbid thoughts, funny thoughts, what the hell should I do regarding my treatment thoughts, and just every day thoughts.

One of the main reasons why I created this blog: I want everyone reading this to be their own advocate for their health.  I want all my young women friends and family members to do monthly self exams and if something does not seem right to you, get it checked out.  Trust your instincts and don't listen to some government panel that think these exams aren't useful.  Fuck that noise.  Never ever let a doctor tell you, "Oh you're too young to have breast cancer."  If you think something is wrong, then insist on further testing and if a doctor isn't listening to you, find another doctor.  Do not put your life in the hands of a doctor who doesn't care to do any follow-up testings.  

If someone reads my blog and decides to get that lump in their breast they have been putting off getting checked, then hot damn. 

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