Saturday, October 2, 2010

Love

I swear, I am having one of those "It's a Wonderful Life" moments ever since I got my cancer diagnosis.   So many people have expressed their love and concern to me these past couple of weeks, and it's so touching.  Ever since I've bought my house back in March, I have been pretty much immersed in my own little world with my sweetie.  I haven't been going out or partying and concentrated on getting my house to the way I want it.  I've disappeared from the social scene.  After blowing off the billionth party invite, I said to my lovely boy, "My friends are going to forget I exist and never invite me to anything anymore."

Cue September 22, my life has changed.  Everyone has rallied around me and have offered so much love and support to me.  Now and then, it gets humbling.  "Me?  Y'all love little old me?"  I have friends back in KC rallying for me and promising that they would toast my tatas.   I haven't lived in KC for 12 years and still, there is a group of people there who are texting me to check up on me or putting my name in their church's prayer list.  My hetero life mate, T, is worried about me and I know 100 percent she would be coming to every appointment or surgery of mine if I still lived in KC.  

My friends here in the 'Burgh have been wonderful, as well.   I know if I need someone to help me to a doctor's appointment or look after me after a surgery, I have a whole group of people who will be there.   Today, two of my great girlfriends are helping my sweetie get our first floor done quickly.  I love my twin and twin-in-law who have been there for me, and once I get better, I plan on dedicating myself to repaying their kindness however I can.  

My most important support has been my lovely boy.  He is amazing and takes such good care of me.  He makes cancer less scary and will love me no matter what cancer does to my body.  I know he's here and not going anywhere.  I love this man so much and want to spend the next 30 or 40 years annoying the shit out of him.  I don't know if I could do this without him and I'm glad I don't have to find out.  A future with this man is what I'm fighting like hell to keep.

People leave and enter your lives all the time.  The good ones stick around, no matter the distance between you and them.  I am very grateful for my family and friends during the hardest period of my life.  Everyone has been so great to me and I'm just amazed sometimes that you all care about me so much.  I wish I could tell you all that everything will be okay but I can't.  I don't know if it'll be okay for me.  I'm going to go through some hell during the next couple of months.  Okay is something I can't promise to any of you and I won't.  


2 comments:

  1. The second-to-last paragraph made me smile hugely! :D

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  2. He's a good guy. I think I will keep him.

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