I wish...

I wish I was a better person a lot of times.

I wish cancer had transformed me into some Buddha on the mountain top wise woman who got it.  

I wish I could stop trying to sabotage my own happiness.

I wish I didn't hurt all the time.

I wish my body looked normal.

I wish I could learn to forgive and forget.

I wish I could forgive myself for things I have done.

I wish I saw myself how others saw me.

I wish I slept through the night.

I wish I wasn't haunted by illness and death.

I wish my body hadn't betrayed me.

I wish I finished what I started.

I wish Boomer lived for thirty years as a happy, healthy dog.

I wish I could let go of the hatred and resentment in my heart and move on.

I wish cancer made me a better, wiser version of myself, but all it did was left me broken.

I wish I wasn't so tired and had the energy of a 1,000 Boomers.