My six-month mammogram didn't go well at all. Both Lefty and Righty showed something suspicious, so naturally, I freaked out. I hadn't had a freak out like that since first being diagnosed. Once again, Righty is being the jerk among my breasts by having the calcification pop up. Today, I had to have an ultra-guided biopsy on Lefty and a stereotactic core biopsy on Righty.
My surgeon said the presence of calcification deposits means I have a 1 in 4 chance of having cancer again. I know some of you are thinking, "That also means that you have a 75 percent chance of not having a new breast cancer?" Well, the odds have already screwed me over. I don't have the faith in the odds anymore. I had a less than 15 percent chance of getting breast cancer, but around a 5 percent chance of getting it at my age. I had a less than 3 or 2 percent chance of going into anaphylaxis, but yet that happened, too.
So I don't take comfort in odds. I take comfort in facts, and the signs that my body gives me.
I will make this declaration: if the biopsy results come back malignant, NO MORE LARA'S BOOBS. WE ARE DONE. I will not tolerate another attempt on my life. I love my life a hell of a lot more than my boobs. There will be no saving the tatas for me. Fuck the tatas. Save me - that's all that matters.