Welp

My six-month mammogram didn't go well at all.  Both Lefty and Righty showed something suspicious, so naturally, I freaked out.  I hadn't had a freak out like that since first being diagnosed.  Once again, Righty is being the jerk among my breasts by having the calcification pop up.  Today, I had to have an ultra-guided biopsy on Lefty and a stereotactic core biopsy on Righty.

My surgeon said the presence of calcification deposits means I have a 1 in 4 chance of having cancer again.  I know some of you are thinking, "That also means that you have a 75 percent chance of not having a new breast cancer?"  Well, the odds have already screwed me over.  I don't have the faith in the odds anymore.  I had a less than 15 percent chance of getting breast cancer, but around a 5 percent chance of getting it at my age.  I had a less than 3 or 2 percent chance of going into anaphylaxis, but yet that happened, too.

So I don't take comfort in odds.  I take comfort in facts, and the signs that my body gives me.  

I will make this declaration: if the biopsy results come back malignant, NO MORE LARA'S BOOBS.  WE ARE DONE.   I will not tolerate another attempt on my life.  I love my life a hell of a lot more than my boobs. There will be no saving the tatas for me.  Fuck the tatas.  Save me - that's all that matters.