It's been a week since Thyroid Surgeon removed the Evil Thyroid from my body. So many people have remarked that my surgery scar looks fantastic. Hmm, orly? I guess I haven't seen many people post-thyroidectomy to know what looks good and what looks "ew." Strange thing is, I'll probably be looking at other people's necks to see, "Are they part of the No Thyroid Club?" I will just take these individuals' words for it and keep my fingers crossed that this scar gently fades away to nothingness.
The other night, I decided to go out grocery shopping without a scarf around my neck. I get a little down in the dumps about wearing a hat and scarf in public ... during the spring. I look highly overdressed for the weather. When I went out to the store without my scarf (still wearing a hat, though), I figured, "Screw it. Adults don't really stare at each other in public and if anyone notices my neck and stares, I'll flip them off.... or cry." Nobody made me feel self-concsious and then I felt silly for caring so much about what other people might think.
I've had enough trying to cover up the fact that I'm sick and look different. Screw it. I'm a bald girl with a neck incision. Yes, I look different and if anyone has a problem with it and feels uncomofortable by the sight of me, they don't have to look. I don't care about other people's comfort levels anymore. The couple of times I had a scarf around my neck - it felt uncomfortable and borderline painful. I'm not going to do it anymore. I shouldn't have to hide my illness or what it's done to me because other people might stare or say something insensitive. My hair will come back and the incision will heal. In the meantime, I'm going to go out and live my life without hiding my neck.
I'll still wear my hats or scarves on my head because as hardcore as I am about my neck, I'm still not comfortable going out bald. Baby steps...