Chemo 5

Well, folks.  I'm apparently crap about updating my blog after my chemos now.  I think that goes to show how tired and drained these treatments make me.  A friend of mine from Kansas City came up to hang out with me and help me out at the house after this chemo.  I'm so grateful and touched that she did.  It means a lot to me that I mattered enough to someone to take time off work, from their families and fly up to Pittsburgh to help me.  After I dropped her off at the airport today, I actually started crying because I was so sad to see her go.  For four or so days, I was able to hang out with an old friend, go shopping and watch Sex and the City episodes.  I felt normal and not at all like a sick girl.  I had been working from home for months and now I'm home on disability.  I don't get to see my friends as often as I'd like, especially my out of town friends. 

I'm crying again just thinking about how lucky I am to have such great girlfriends.  As everyone who knows me knows, I am estranged from the two daughters of the woman who married my dad.  I wouldn't even call them sisters - just two bitches who have made my life hell for too long.  If one of them came down with a serious illness, the other would be on the first flight out (probably decked out in all black, with a veil over her head) to be their nursemaid or some soap opera-ish shit like that.  Me...  I got one email with a grammatical error, and the other de-friended me on Facebook and has yet to tell me why she's mad at me.  They aren't my sisters, nor will those two ever be a part of my life from now on.

My friends who have reached out to me and been there for me during my treatment.  They are my true sisters.  These ladies have made me feel loved and cherished during a time when I feel my absolute worst.  Because of all my girlfriends (aka my besties), I know that Anastasia and Drusilla's behavior toward me has been bullshit and I don't deserve it.  The fact that I tear up just thinking, "Wow.  Someone flew in just to help me right now," goes to show how much sisterly love has been missing from my life. 

I guess sometimes a horrible thing like breast cancer can bring so much good to light.  I'm convinced that to get through something as awful as surgery, chemo and (yet to be experienced) radiation, you have to hold on tight to these positive things, especially tried and true friends.  Or friends you have only met online but seem to understand what you're going through better than anyone else.  I want to be able to reach the end of my treatment while physically weak, so much stronger in my heart.  This is a challenging time but I'll make it.  I always do.