tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7737867958913998601.post8652429869186020329..comments2023-03-27T21:12:46.245-04:00Comments on Get Up Swinging: Forgive and ForgetAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12662975128724788449noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7737867958913998601.post-81233342095543696522011-06-21T20:22:04.504-04:002011-06-21T20:22:04.504-04:00I have been trying to post something on this blog ...I have been trying to post something on this blog for a while now and the Internet gods have not seen fit to allow it. However, here's my two cents. I have been there -- had people disappoint me profoundly at a time of enormous life crisis. Here's what I learned:<br /><br />1. This is a death of sorts -- the death of a hope/belief that when it came down to it, the people who should rally around you WOULD rally around you. However, they didn't, and that realization, besides all of the pain and betrayal and rage that you are feeling, is a loss of an innocence and you didn't realize you still had. Respect the mourning process for this loss.<br /><br />2. You won't ever feel the same about these people, but you might eventually feel affection and compassion for them as the terribly flawed people they are. Don't blame yourself for taking years, even decades to get to that point, though.<br /><br />3. Finally, and this one is a huge relief as time passes, TRUST ME: These people have to live with their despicable behavior and weakness for the rest of their lives. If you or I had that on our conscience, it would make our lives not worth living. That is a curse. If they don't realize what they've done, that's a different kind of curse.KonjoMorettahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02990558999138754016noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7737867958913998601.post-83259586520498903292011-06-13T19:06:22.487-04:002011-06-13T19:06:22.487-04:00dang, lady. that whole family/forgiveness bit soun...dang, lady. that whole family/forgiveness bit sounds like a bitch. <br /><br />i in no way have been going through anything similar or as scary as what you have, but i HAVE been dealt a difficult situation the past 7 months or so where i feel like i have been deeply wronged by someone i love, and i have had a truly horrible time, mentally and emotionally, trying to figure out how to forgive them. part of my anger comes from that the fact that (much like you) i'm not sure they even realize their folly. what's even harder is trying to decide when to just be done permanently. knowing when to say when....it's really hard. and when i say "when" and tell this person i'm done contributing effort to a relationship with them, i undoubtedly will be the 'bad guy' because i called it quits; they undoubtedly will continue to not take responsibility for their contribution to the end of our relationship. <br /><br />i'm no wise woman, but i would DEFINITELY say that you should tell this person/people how you feel about them. it's not our job as humans to be our fellow humans' moral watchdogs, but it IS ok to express how you feel, especially since it seems you've been deeply hurt here. and since they have been so hurtful to you, what are you saving face for? let em have it, and wait for the relief to come to you. <br /><br />xoarbuchingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13757510689714705923noreply@blogger.com